What is it i’m trying to say?


My practice has always been about key focuses, life, death, process, decay, empathy, preservation and elevation.

when it comes to putting my work to the scrutiny of the public i’m more than slightly anxious!  My thoughts? my feelings? there are complexities in my work yet to be muddled over by oneself, let alone attempting to explain them to an audience.  Ordinarily i do not profess to be a activist nor demonstrator but i guess i do wish to ask of the population a meagre poll………….it’s finding the most direct, adequate and pertinent programme that will speak volumes without me saying a word.  I have some organic visions to say the least,  i am often clouded by en masse of thoughts, feelings and experiences trying in vain to include therefore neither discard my feelings nor memories.  I think i want to tell a story, i also want to deliver a message……whilst also broaching myself as a fresh face, there is a lot to consider.

Here is the list of potential competitors that grapple at my grey matter daily; (we being human lifeforms)

What do we understand of preservation?

Do we preservate to elevate?

Are we afraid of death?

Flesh and metal?

Mechanical after organic?

These thoughts are a circuit in my apprehension, they are constantly striving to tell the public what it is i want to say, i want to demonstrate my need to preserve life, my obsessions with the organic and mechanics, and the global abhorrence amidst death.  I suppose i want to tell people of the wonders of modern surgery and medicine, of the cadaverous nature adopted through Millenia to preserve and cheat death, the reference to literature, fantasy, folklore, history and religion, and most importantly my interpretation, representation and cast to be developed, juggled, scrutinised and regarded.

To be continued…………….




One thought on “What is it i’m trying to say?

  1. Tom Conoboy says:

    Here’s my take on some of your questions. A bit of a diversion to begin with, but bear with me, it’ll come round to your subject in the end.

    Mysterium tremendum is a phrase coined by Rudolph Otto to explore the mysteries that lie behind religion, through which rational thought must be submerged beneath a sense of awe at the numinous nature of the deity. By numinous, Otto means the religious experience itself, and the response it invokes in us. There are different ways the numinous can affect us, one of which is a sense of dread, or the Mysterium Tremendum, a sense of fear of a completely different order from any mortal fear. CS Lewis describes it like this:

    “Suppose you were told that there was a tiger in the next room: you would know that you were in danger and would probably feel fear. But if you were told “There is a ghost in the next room,” and believed it, you would feel, indeed, what is often called fear, but of a different kind. It would not be based on the knowledge of danger, for no one is primarily afraid of what a ghost may do to him, but of the mere fact that it is a ghost. It is “uncanny” rather than dangerous, and the special kind of fear it excites may be called Dread. With the Uncanny one has reached the fringes of the Numinous. Now suppose that you were told simply “There is a mighty spirit in the room” and believed it. Your feelings would then be even less like the mere fear of danger: but the disturbance would be profound. You would feel wonder and a certain shrinking–described as awe, and the object which excites it is the Numinous.”

    The concept of a mysterium tremendum is, even for an atheist like me, a worthwhile area of study. It does seem that human beings are predisposed to “believe” in something, some creator or higher being. It’s part of our genetic make-up, for some reason. What is happening is that, in the modern world, we are losing touch with anything numinous, we no longer experience that sense of awe about things.

    Except that isn’t true. Critics of the modern world try to say this, and they say that the loss of a religious basis to life leaves us dangerously out of control. I would argue that the numinous sense of awe remains with us: human beings are still massively concerned with the idea of death and what comes after it. We still want to know if there’s anything else out there or we are it, the only life in the universe. Art allows us to explore these ideas. And history allows us to explore these ideas. We preserve so that we remember, and we remember so that we know.

    What is true, though, and where critics of modernity may be correct, is that we sometimes lose sight of the beauty around us. We have become complacent, too used to seeing and having things, so that we take them for granted. We lose the idea of beauty. Beauty is in the Mona Lisa, or Beethoven’s Ode to Joy, or Marilyn Monroe or David Beckham. But it’s also in those everyday objects that allow us to live so well. Urban architecture. Lifts and elevators. Central heating boilers. And it’s in scientific advances, like the drugs that keep our parents alive, the vaccinations that stop our children getting sick.

    Perhaps we just need to be reminded now and again how wonderful we are, as well as how bad. For me, the greatest piece of art every created is Picasso’s Guernica, because it depicts the absolute depravity that mankind is capable of. But the very fact that he has created this awesome (I use the word intentionally) piece of art shows, simultaneously, that we are capable of transcending that depravity and being truly beautiful.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s